apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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