I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
