and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
