I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize