I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
