I heard we made out
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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