FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
