I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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