Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
third nipple confirmed
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
