Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize