Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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