some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
