What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
