Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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