I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You've changed since you got that strap on
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
