Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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