My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
