I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
