Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
birth control should be required to get into college
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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