the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
