I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
