Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
