Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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