put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
