Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
