i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
