we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
