I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
