am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
