Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
