Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We talked him into tasing himself.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
