IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
