Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
