There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
