I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
