Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize