we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
