The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
