No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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