the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Randomize
