I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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