Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
cat food counts as protein by the way
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
