im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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