is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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