Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
