ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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