No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize