she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
