Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
