Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
