i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
