when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
