So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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