He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
