My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
