How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize