so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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