I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
