real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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