Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize