Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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