you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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