I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
